Thursday, August 18, 2011

the great debate

If there's anything that gets a mom's blood boiling, it's when someone treats their child unjustly. ..even another toddler. How does a 2-year-old become Enemy #1 of a 27-year-old? Simple: Push Harper down on purpose. 

Yes. We stoop that low.

But want to just make a little steam come out of a mom's ears without spastic toddler violence? Question her parenting choices to her face.

Because we're all doing the best we can. We're doing what we think is right and we're all making sacrifices to do it. And if we aren't sure we're doing the right thing? You can bet we're losing sleep over it every night. And for Pete's sake, whether a mom works outside of the home or inside the home, she's doing what she thinks best for her child and her family. Period.

I used to think that this was a one-sided assault, that 'working' moms bore the stink-eye brunt of stay-at-home mom hens, who cluck superiority over chilly martinis from toile-upholstered perches. Mmm.. martini.


If I had a quarter for every time a woman has shaken her head back and forth, in calmly rehearsed disbelief and pity and warbled something to me about, "You stay home full-time?!  I just don't know what I'd do all day," Harper and I could ride the carousel at the mall 24 hours/day.

Maybe I should tell them what I do, but instead, I catch myself a little red-faced and embarrassed.

I nurture, I teach, I play, I feed, I wipe, I hug, I correct, I hug some more.

But maybe this is a beautiful secret I should keep to myself, if they refuse to see.

For now, I think I can convince Harper to tell them that all we do is play dress-up, ruin our eyesight, wear pajamas and eat messy popsicles all day.

 Because what they don't know might hurt them.


  1. <3 you! miss you! PROUD OF YOU!

  2. The only stay-at-home moms I'm guilty of judging are the ones who have NANNIES!...and those that home school their kids b/c they think public schools are "too mainstream" and "the devil". Imagine what women could accomplish if we stopped tsk-tsking each other over our choices.

    On a serious note, don't let Harper wear your glasses for too long! That's how I ended up bespectacled and now wear (-8.5) contact lenses!

  3. Haha. They're so weak that Brandon said they won't do any damage. . . . for the .02 seconds she wears them per day. Other interesting fact - you probably had a good reason for wearing them when you were a toddler. He says that most are nearsighted, so they kinda help :)

  4. Karrie - I love you :) THANK YOU! and I am so proud of you, too!!

  5. Another interesting fact: Brandon says I misquoted him. Most toddlers are farsighted. Bah.

  6. oh courtney... just what i needed to hear today. i applaud your ability to stay at home (no, not your financial ability--although, that's great, too!!)--but your mental/physical/emotional ability to do so. there are days where i envy you. but there are never days where i think you have an easier job than ANYONE. being a sahm is the.hardest.job.ever. but today, i must admit, i really got the blues at work and missed my girl. poor thing has loved my company over anyone else's these last few days because of those stupid molars... and i just wanted to spend the day with her... but alas, she had school...and me? work.

    today was a day that i knew i would lose my temper if i saw another kid (on my "pretend" camera that i think i can envision what she's doing all day) push her... poor thing will cry at the drop of a hat. or her orajel. or her sippy cup.

    being a sahm is hard breaks, no lunch hour, no calling in sick, no vacation, and no one to cover for you.

  7. Hannah: (and this is where it awkwardly turns into a love fest) If I were working, I would want to be just like you!! you take pictures of artwork and write about eden and she's obviously the center of your world and you still go to work every day.. Now, that's a job. you're superwoman!

  8. gushy gushy---if i were a stay at home mom, i'd want to be just like you!!! you seem to make everyday an adventure!--and i know brandon works odd (and LONG) hours. on days i'm at home with eden, sometimes i just feel e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d! its best for everyone's sanity (lee's included) that we "doooo" something on days at home. whether its just riding down the road to see my grandparents or planning a trip to the outlet malls! ha. we GOTTA do something! oh heck, i've even been known to turn on sprout/nickjr and curl up on the couch thinking "maybe e won't notice if i close my eyes for juuuuust a minute." i find myself constantly seeking a nap if we're couped up inside all day.

    i admire you--not only for your sahm abilities--but your ability to do it somewhere other than your hometown. i so DEEPLY rely on family close-by (as in, less than a mile.) its like you're an overacheiving sahm--because you do it alone. and you do it so well!! BRAVO!! :-D