Thursday, February 23, 2012

Possibly Unpopular Opinion of the Week

I hate to say this, because you're just so darn peppy - flitting around the kitchen..chopping things.. taking everything out of the refrigerator at once - but Rachael, I hate your 30 Minute Meals and not by virtue of the fact that they take longer than 30 minutes, but because by and large, they're gross.

PS. No one actually does that refrigerator thing. Be one with the people and we'll like you more. And quit saying 'EVOO' all the time.

In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby, I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

rollin' with the homies

It's clear that I'll lose a few people here, but. . . you know when you're up at 3 a.m. feeding a baby and your head falls back and you wake up three hours later with a baby sprawled lovingly across your lap? ..Cute, but.. you didn't uncross your legs so they're dead. And your head fell over sideways into a rather oops-you-actually-look-dead position that no neck should be in for three hours.

This is my life. Sometimes more than once per night.

Today, it caught up with me.

Just as I was beginning the approach to my patented sleeping-newborn-laydown-in-the-bassinet-without-waking-them move, with semi-dead leg, I kinked my kneck. I'm just leaving that typo as a testament to just how sleepy I am, these days. I just spelled neck with a silent "k."

A kinked neck is no biggie, but not when you're a stay-at-home mom. Heavy lifting, y'all. One biggie baby and one enormous toddler. And I toughed it out until 11:30 a.m. when I made the proclamation that Harper needed to put on her rain boots (they're her favs and the only ones she can really put on without help) and get her sippy cup, because we were going on a drive.

something like this.

Because driving is easier than lifting my arms above my shoulders.

I gingerly wrestled the biggest baby in the world into his car seat and did the same with Harper and we were off..

pictured: biggest (and sweetest) baby in the world

There are a few roads near our house that are long and picturesque and curvy and meant to convince the fair residents of this conglomeration that living here doesn't suck. So we drove to those roads.

We stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a hot chocolate (awesome mom!) but the only-slightly-more-than-lukewarmness of Harper's hot chocolate steamed up in her sippy cup and caused some sort of air pressure chocolate volcano (terrible mom!) which erupted all over her toddler face and started the screaming fit to end all screaming fits and made her look like a child of the dust bowl.. but


No sooner did we turn onto Harper's favorite road did four deer amble across, right in front of our car.

This is huge. Monumental. Amazing!

I'm all, "Quit crying about the chocolate spray to the face! Look! There's a family of deer! A mommy and a daddy and two babies! Oh my gracious! Look how big and close they are!"

Harper: "Oh Mommy! That's great. Duh deer are in duh road!"

((two seconds later))

Harper observes last deer clear the white line: "That should do it." (?)

"A giraffe now, please. And Santa, too."