Friday, March 4, 2011

Come again?

Before I had a child, every now and then, I'd hear a toddler "talk" and - amazingly - their parent would swiftly decode the (and let's call it what it is, here) gibberish.

This unnerved me.  Foreign languages have never come easily. I've been trying since high school.

So this morning, I stood at the counter and blearily succombed to muscle memory as I made coffee and a sippy cup of milk & oatmeal for Harper.

Just then, I heard a small but stern voice issue the diktat: "Hi! Borsch gurts gah dish!"

Without pausing to whip out my Toddler to English dictionary, I replied, "Ok, but only one. You haven't even had breakfast!"

So, I opened the refrigerator, she handed me the pressurized whipped cream, opened her mouth, and again, I said, "Only one" as I squirted a minuscule dab of the sweetly combustible dairy onto her tongue.

"Mmm. Danks."

Y'all, I'm bilingual.

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - 
Harper to English: Entries 5,000-3
borsh - four.  In context: "wunn, teww, freee, borsh, fie."
gurts - squirts
gah dish - whipped cream and/or ice cream. Origin unknown.

Enjoy the "pitch."


  1. Didn't you learn to speak Wisconsin when you were here? This would make you TRIlingual!

  2. Honey, I am laughing out loud at this! What a chip off the old block! You and I used to do the same thing, and I still do. Which reminds me, I am out of Jello and whipped cream!

  3. Seriously funny post!
    Now I'm singing: wunn, teww, freee, borsh chickens just back from the shore...

  4. hahaha! omg we babysat our friend's toddler for barely 2 hours once, and this kid is TRI-lingual. At the time he spoke Macedonian, English, and could sign. He kept trying to sign to me and I wasn't sure which language he was speaking. Now he also speaks Spanish, so I hope they don't leave me alone with him for too long.

  5. ha!! i used to be the same way--kids would come in the store and i'd ask them a pretty simple question and get a response in elvish... and look confusingly at the mom or dad standing by for my translation...

    ...but now, eden does that... with a few of her "newer" words and i can perfectly understand what she's saying! hahaha

  6. Oh, I LOVE This! I love it on many levels. #1) It's just plain funny. #2) I love reading/hearing kid dialect. #3) I thought I was the only mom who squirted whipped cream into the mouths of my babes! ;)

  7. That is SO our house. The neighbors are always trying to figure out what he is saying, and I'm always translating. :-)