Thursday, June 23, 2011

Anatomy of a Pregnancy Part I


Have you ever taken Nyquil during the day? Like.. "Man I'm sick. Imma knock myself out. I'll sit here on the couch until......" and then you wake up an hour later, sitting straight up with your mouth wide open and you're drooling?

You don't remember getting sleepy.

You don't remember your head falling back.

You don't remember closing your eyes.

You just woke up with a snort.. drooling?

That's the best way I can explain my second trimester of pregnancy (and the first two months with any newborn, for that matter).

I don't sit on any soft surface while Harper is awake because my greatest fear is that my head will fall back uncontrollably and she'll be left to her own devilish devices, which would undoubtedly include high-wire acrobatics and knife-throwing.

So, no couch. No bed. No glider - lord.. no glider. Just the floor. With her. Playing. Constantly. Moving. Talking. Singing.

Reading books is tricky. I take deep breaths and speak with more inflection than John Popper. . .

because the Oops,-Brandon-Slipped-a-Rufie-into-my-OJ Sleepy/Open-Mouth-Airplane-Startling-Snore Sleepy is matched only by the Painful Sleepy, which comes on more predictably if I get comfortable.

Do you know the Painful Sleepy of which I speak? When you're so sleepy that you'd just just as soon accept death as muster the will to keep your eyelids open for one more second?

Lecture. 120th row. Warm. Sweatshirt. Day before a test. Head starts nodding...That sleepy. Once, I watched a guy fall asleep so quickly and so hard that his head fell forward and banged his desk so loudly that 400 people turned and looked. Anyway. Cautionary tale. Get up and take a lap, next time, big fella.

So to combat my pregnancy-induced narcolepsy, we've been doing just that: Walk in the morning. Walk in the evening. So far, Harper has been a willing participant. In return, I've managed to make her "toas wih pea butter and jewwy" (toast with peanut butter and jelly) at 5:45 a.m. without my head loudly hitting the kitchen counter.

..but there's always tomorrow.

7 comments:

  1. Aww...I've just gotten past having absolutely no appetite. Im talking force feeding myself and then feeling sick because I really didnt want it.

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  2. lol. Yes. I'm past that, also. I've elected not to write about it, though, since just writing about it makes me want to.. barf.

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  3. LOL Funny thing is with both pregnancies I've never actually gotten sick. I guess I'm lucky because I don't throw up constantly but the nausea and just no interest in food sucked.

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  4. Haha, a friend and I were talking about this over the weekend - for both of us, throwing up was actually the relief! Then 10 minutes of no nausea then it all came crashing back.. haha. oh gah. I'm glad it's over.

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  5. Haha This is so funny! I am going through the same right now with my little one. I so don't remember being this tired last time. I can't imagine what it's going to be like once the baby gets here!

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  6. Court that's just it. I wish I could have thrown up sometimes. I think I would have felt better if only for a few minutes.

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  7. Well, I'm just starting my first pregnancy, but this is something I'm dreading. I'm actually a diagnosed narcoleptic and have to be off my medication to grow this baby, so I'm a little bit scared of what that will do to my need for sleep. Thankfully, it's my first, so there's not a little person I need to watch right now, but I am working full time and I'm pretty sure they'd frown on random naps throughout the day haha!

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