Monday, April 11, 2011

Top of the Muffin, to ya! Week 13

A Monday morning rant, of sorts:

Going out to eat is fun. Being fat is not fun.

Please, join me for a tutorial.

This is how you get fat:

1. Don't look at the nutritional information before you go to a restaurant.
2. Choose what you think might be semi-sensible (we all know it really isn't..) and plan to eat half, then box the rest. (550)
3. It's so darn good that you eat more than half. (100)
4. Is that a glass of healthy red wine in your hand?! (150)
5. Wait.  There's bread and butter! It's whole grain. It's cool. (200)
6. And then, because you ate a semi-sensible dinner & you're at a restaurant known for their dessert & you're a little bit drunk, you order one, but plan to only eat half. (360)
7. Repeat step 3.(100)
8. Have two bites of your husband's dessert. (100)
9. What you do take home, you eat the next day. (650 + 460 = 1100)
10. Collapse into a carby salt bomb of a coma on the couch. Exercise? Hush... I'm napping.

11. Enjoy supple 2660 calorie addition to muffin top.

True story: We went to Cheesecake Factory this weekend for takeout.  My mom ordered the pasta marinara (1210 calories). From one serving, she ate dinner, I ate dinner and so did Harper.  Then, there was enough left over for Harper & me the next day. We didn't eat that delicious brown bread, we had no alcohol and we didn't order cheesecake.

That's over 1000 calories.. for noodles. Had I cooked dinner, it would have been more balanced, less salty and I would have known exactly what was in it, instead of giving a side-eye to the nutritional information that only lists 3 grams of fat. Uhh.. No. 3 grams does not a super greasy plate make.

Not sure it's worth it.


  1. this was my weekend too. We all mess up and fall off the wagon! It's Monday again though, and another chance to make it better! Good luck! And cheesecake factory without getting cheesecake?! You deserve a medal for that!

  2. Haha, Ashley. No medal. I've given sweets up for Lent and it was Saturday night. ..absolutely none of my own willpower was involved in the dinner decisions.