Animal Instincts

This is more of a public service message than anything else.

It isn't funny. It's serious and important.

..So, as much as I've been avoiding it, I need to give you the talk.

::Shudder::

The birds and the bees,

or more specifically: the pony, crocodile and narwhal.

Wait. You're not familiar with that last move? That's ok. I'm not embarrassed to tell you and I will even provide pictures.

Just because I waited until my mid-twenties to stumble through the weeds doesn't mean you have to!

No blushing. We're all adults, here.

The facts:

1. An adult horse is a horse. A baby horse is a foal. A PONY IS A SMALL GROWN HORSE. Not a baby horse.

2. Alligators live in the United States. Crocodiles DO NOT live in the United States or anywhere even close to the United States. No. They do not. The Everglades have no crocodiles. They have alligators. JUST alligators. Not both.

3. The narwhal is real. Despite having a horn like a unicorn, it is not a mythical creature. It exists.

And since you never really forget where you were or who set you straight, a sincere thanks to:

Katie, that night at Bowl Club when you told us how your brother didn't know the difference? I laughed along with everyone, but. . . . only in relief. Phew.. those horses in the Kentucky Derby are grown.

And Brandon, for that long, first confused, then sympathetic pause last weekend after I told you about the crocodiles that have been known to mistakenly swim up the Cape Fear River.

And finally, PBS Kids Animals of the Artic, yesterday. The world seems a little more magical, now.



Class dismissed.