Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Type B does drapery.

1. Go to fabric store. Bring along 20 month old helper to paw at all breakables within reach.

2. Choose correct color in wrong weight because "eh, it'll do."

3. Despite extended measuring session perched atop rickety coffee table, purchase wrong length: because, really, who has time for step stool nonsense and lists?

4. Do not dare purchase lining fabric. No one sees the back, so who cares?

5. Allow fabric to remain in bag, mockingly, for approximately 3+ weeks or until threat of impending non-immediate-family dinner guests.

5. Unearth wrinkled fabric.

6. Do not prewash to account for shrinkage. Surely, neither peanut-butter-wielding, banana smearing, Crayola Picasso will ever have interest in 96 inch fabric sweeping tantalizingly from ceiling to floor.

7. Halfheartedly iron out wrinkles. Do not refill water reservoir when depleted. Just keep going.

8. Eyeball most precise length, use no pins, begin sewing immediately and as quickly as the machine will go.

9. Cuss some or lots. Give up and sew a pillow cover instead.

10. Drag out project many days as to avoid hanging the rod, which requires collection and use of stud finder, hammer and drill, which are all lost.

11. Post first blog in months about it. Naturally, include no pictures or address extended absence.

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