Spring has sprung.

All week, I've been reading about great things to do with fabric scraps at in the fun lane. I've followed Holly's blog since I started blogging and I love absolutely everything she does to her home.

Today, she's hosting a link-up for everyone and their scrap project.

Though it be humble, here is my rag garland.  I've only been sewing for a month, so I don't have enough scraps to cuss a cat. 

If there was ever a project for me, it is this rag garland. You cut scraps - mine are about 8 inches long. Maybe about an inch and a half wide. I don't really know. I didn't measure them. And then you tie them in knots on a good thick yarn or rope. And then just throw it somewhere. 

It aligns wonderfully with my typical mantel decorating style - Shop the house and throw random things up there until it's a hazard to anyone standing underneath. Which is why I'll probably put that Spring banner somewhere else.

It's.just.too.tempting. Henry got a wild look in his eye as soon as I put it up. A yanking expedition is being planned. I know it.

And if for some reason this expertly(!) decorated(!) mantel causes you to think that I have it all together, the rest of the house is a wreck. Also, there's this. I'm just walking around with untied shoes. They're making a clicky sound on the floor. Like a 5 year old. 

And immediately down and to the right of the mantel, there's this:

Go forth and tie scraps.

Old School Blogging

Today, Theta Mom and The Miss Elaine-ous Life are encouraging us to go 'old school' and since I still find early 2000s hip-hop relevant and since I don't have anything nice to say today, this seems like a good fit. Y'all should do the same!

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Lawd have mercy. Living in Lee Hall at NC State with entirely too much time on my hands. Which I did not spend studying or going to class regularly. Like most 19 year olds, just generally making great decisions at every opportunity.

2. What 5 things are on your to-do list?

• Make drapes for the TV room.
• Fold the four loads of laundry currently piled on our bed.

Life-size Beast makes a cameo for comparison sake.

• Clean out my car. OMG. Goldfish propagation, y'all. 
• Decorate for Easter. Harper loves me more when I surprise her with seasonal decor.
• Install a new baby gate upstairs, which will make Henry love me less.

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

It's not advisable for me to keep snacks in our house that I enjoy, because I would enjoy an entire box of said enjoyable snack. Things I trust myself with? PB2 and celery and cinnamon Chex with almond milk. What snacks do I want? Doughnuts, chocolate, cake and chocolate cake doughnuts.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire:

Pay off our house. Geez. Can you sleep at night until you do this?!

Buy a fancy-ass minivan substitute. 

Go to grad school and get all the degrees. I don't have to decide! I'm a millionaire!

Top off an education fund for our children - but not one where they turn 19 and have access to it. Have we discussed the decision-making abilities of 19 year olds? 29 year olds, for that matter? Heh. Am I even qualified to have these imaginary millions?

Contribute to solutions to problems dear to my heart.  For the love of humanity, please do your research when contributing to non-profits, y'all. 50% admin expense means you're paying for the CEO's fancy-ass minivan substitute and pumping their child's trust fund.

Save the rest to take care of us and our families if they need it. 

Also, buy an enormous TV for the garage. Because I'm a millionaire and can watch Vampire Diaries while I elliptical, if I want. 

5. Name some places you have lived:

Raleigh NC, Milwaukee WI, Washington DC and my hometown, Fayetteville NC. You can tell that I'm kind of a big deal.

6. Name some bad habits you have:

Procrastination, not putting things away after I'm done with them, blogging when I should be folding laundry. ((Beast gives best come-hither stare))

7. Name some jobs you have had:

I have been a cashier at a grocery store, where I contracted strep throat 6 times over the course of 1.5 years because people and their groceries and their money are dirty. 

I have been a scorekeeper for youth sports, where I learned that I will never pressure my children to play sports.

I've been a student fundraiser and trained callers for the NC State Annual Fund, where I learned that hardworking farmers and their money are easily parted for worthy causes. 

I've been a fundraiser for United Way & The Children's Inn, where I learned that there are some problems that money can't fix. 

And Mom..where I've learned that I know nothing.

8. Name those you are tagging for #OSBlog:

Y'all, I don't do the Twitters. Saying funny things is too hard. Especially if you're going to limit my characters. Furthermore, I don't subscribe to pretending to have Twitter on Facebook.  #Befunnywithoutahashtag.

I'll still tag my frans, though, because both deserve to go viral and blow up. Or do those things in the opposite order. I don't know which. 

Tiffany at Hard Lacquer and Karrie at Life From Here

all I need to get by.

Playtime (ok, all the time) at our house is either:

 A. watching Harper run around and holler things at us - "Run! Chase me! Tickle Me! Be a Ninja Turtle! Here's your stick! Watch out! I'm going to 'sharp' (stab!!) you! Raaaaaah!!" while Henry trails behind or runs in the opposite direction

 or

B. refereeing two angry badgers who both want ALL THE TOYS.

or

C. Harper building huge, intricate something which Henry points to, "Oooh!" then crushes with his powerful baby fists of destruction.

plus any combination of at least two of the following:

giggling, whining, crying/hostile meltdowns, furrowed brow life lesson warnings in my adult voice, belly laughing, scream laughing (this is a form of communication only tolerable to other 3 year olds and their own parents - not other parents.)

This morning, we had a solid two hours of ALL THE TOYS + whining/crying/furrowed brow.

To people without children, nothing looks worse.

To people with children, the grocery store with both of them in their current state is at least 200% worse.

And yet..

After many bribes (cookies), shoe recovery expeditions (all of us must go! leave no man downstairs! by the way, carry us both! I'm scared to walk up!)  and threats (nap), we piled into the car and, like only three mortal enemies chained together against their will can, eventually stumbled into Harris Teeter.

By the grace of God, I wrangled them into an empty race car cart and quickly(!) began the disinfecting process as there is a 3 second window between Henry being introduced to a new environment and biting the dirtiest thing in said environment.

Amid protests from the peanut gallery  - "Do not wash me! I do not want to be washed with the wipe! Don't wash Henry either! He hates it!" - we spied out the cookie bin (at this point, let's pretend that all that disinfecting wasn't for naught, as I politely select a fresh pastry paper and hand both children a cookie from the COMMUNAL COOKIE BOX) and soldiered on.

As I selected 10 assorted boxes of pasta (buy two get three free! if you have a child, what night do you NOT eat pasta? no night!), I spied the rustling of limbs in my peripheral vision (never look totally away. never.), and said, "What're y'all up to? I hope you aren't thinking about standing up."

'No. Just huggin' and kissin' Henry.'