Well it finally happened. My wife and I checked into the hospital around 11 AM on Dec 30th, and by 12:05 AM New Year’s Eve, we had a squirmy new addition to Team Family. Grace Savannah. 7 lbs 0 oz, 19.5 inches, APGARs of 8 and 9…but nobody gives 10s anymore. The poor thing looks too much like me for her own good, but I digress. It was quite the event.
For me it was pretty surreal. During med school OB/Gyn rotations, I delivered a few dozen screaming balls of humanity into this world, but the game changes when that ball of humanity carries your genetic make-up. From a logistical side, I knew what to expect.
There would likely be gross sounds, smells, lots of weird fluids, and potentially one or more people in the room will poop*…medically speaking of course. From an emotional perspective, I might as well have just popped in The Notebook on DVD and expected that, just because I’ve seen movies before, this one will be similar (yes, guys who are forced to watch that movie are also emotional wrecks by the end).
My wife, who typically has the stress threshold of a soufflé, was a champ. Seriously. I’ve never been so proud of her and glad that I’m a dude in my life. She put a determined look on her face, and made it clear that we were not leaving there without a baby. She only said one thing while she was pushing too. “Don’t look down there.”
Seriously? That was a superfluous request. Never in my wildest self-destructive fantasies did I ever have any desire to look “directly into the sun,” if you will. I imagine that it is probably like that scene in Indiana Jones where the Nazis look at the lost ark and their faces melt off. I’m a doctor, and medically these things don’t bother me a bit. It’s just that I’m content keeping business and pleasure very separate.
In the end, everything went according to plan, and we were able to take Grace home a couple of days later. I’m sure I will follow this post with one about my first days as a terrified father, but right now, I need to take a nap. A couple hours ago, I tried to put a dirty diaper back on Grace after I already changed her.
*Mandy would like me to make it very clear that she did not, in fact, poop.